Feel Good Friday – 656
I have decided to try a different outlook on Fridays. Instead of waking up and counting the Fridays since I last kissed my husband, I am going to think of a happy memory. After his diagnoses, we had to dig a little deeper to enjoy all the daily moments because they were bittersweet. Adam would want us to keep smiling today and remembering how awesome he was…because Adam never lacked any swagger.
Adam was a gem. Most of you already know this. His friend and I have been talking a lot lately about Adam, his humor and how proud he was of himself. And he was proud, ALL the time. We have had a lot of good laughs about him lately, it feels so good to reminisce.
His dry humor and the way we would tease each other is one of the daily things I miss the most. Sometimes he would take it one joke too far, and his response was always “I kid, I kid” followed by a big Adam hug and groveling. His friend Witt was always the butt of Adam’s jokes when they were together, okay, even when they weren’t. The more Adam teased you, the more he showed his love.
My notes for this post are growing fast. I have a smirk on my face, so let’s do this! (An old co-worker of his gave me permission to use as many exclamation points as I want now, but I don’t want Adam to start hiding things on me in the house so I’ll make sure to tone it down.)
656. This is the number of wrestling DVDs Adam collected from other wrestling fanatics, who converted old VHS recordings of matches to DVD of 1980s and 1990s AWA, ECW, WCW and WWF. Adam was so excited when he received a big envelope in the mail of 50 or more DVDS at a time to organize. He would download them to his hard drive and then to the iPad so he could watch them anywhere, anytime.
In October before he passed, he bought this giant, heavy, suitcase DVD organizer. He was so proud of it while I cringed thinking about where we would store this monster. On this night, three days before we learned his cancer was back, I watched him start work on organizing 656 wrestling DVDs. He was so serious about it.
I enjoy a good, hard belly laugh when I look back on a video I have of him organizing them, while I tease him in the background. He doesn’t say a word, but his smirk grows bigger and bigger the more I dish it out. This was Adam and I.
Now, I am grateful we have it. Wrestling was something that helped ease his mind during his cancer diagnoses. When he wasn’t in the mood to watch it, I knew his mind was in a bad place. One of my worries, yes, worries, was who would help me teach the boys all about old school wrestling? I mean, I have probably watched over half of these matches in this suitcase with him, but Adam was an expert on all these wrestling. Books, blogs he read and participated in, he was invested.
When I asked him who I should go to, who knew the most about wrestling, his obvious response was, “nobody knows as much as me.” {Insert my laughter while Adam had a stone face.} I listed friends off, and he put them in order who I should go to for help on “all things wrestling.” Adam then looked me square in the eye on that hospital bed, five days before he passed, and said “Julie, you are going to have to do some homework on your own.”
My husband had a lot of confidence in me, and I’ll never forget these words. All things wrestling was part of our last heart to heart, where he gave me his blessings and advice for the future without him physically by my side. Do my homework. There was a lot he told me to do my homework on and I will, because he had all the confidence in me, just like he had in himself.
Adam never gave up on trying to grow my love for old school wrestling. He never let up on watching Japanese wrestling on TV before bed (incredibly distracting to listen to wrestling commentary in another language while trying to drift off to dreamland). He never gave up on teasing me. He never gave up on making sure I knew how amazing he was. He never gave up on showing me how much he loved me and the boys. And he certainly never gave up on living, down to his final Friday.
I will never give up Adam, and I will do my homework.
<3
I knew he was a huge wrestling fan, but it sounds like that only grew after he left the St. Cloud Times. Your idea of bringing a fun memory of Adam to your Fridays is a great one. A number of us at the Times were pro wrestling fans, but Adam’s love for pro wrestling and heavy metal music really knew few peers. Kudos to you for trying to get into his passion for the squared circle
I love it! Best post.
From one wrestling guy to another
Julianna, You have described Adam spot on. He grew up in a home where we all teased each other so I am not surprised that it carried over in your marriage. I would tell Adam & his brother, Noah, that our teasing was another way of showing our love for each other. I don’t think a day went by that I did not tell Adam & Noah how awesome they were, how much they were loved, & that they could accomplish anything in life. It seems it helped instill enough self confidence in Adam that he developed the “swagger” you talk about & the “pride” he had in himself. Oh yes, Adam was the GEM you describe. His wrestling interest started young. I have a pic of him at 8 yrs. old playing with his WWF wrestling figures & the WWF ring. He watched wrestling endlessly on TV. By middle school age he was taping matches. He would also make extra VHS copies sometimes using two VCR’s. He would sell them to contacts he found online. I used to tell him that if the Sherriff came to our door I would say, “I know nothing about it”. 🙂 I remember when I brought him the bins of his wrestling tapes from childhood to your house in Highland Park. I smile knowing some of those tapes may be among the 656. Love You ALWAYS my son