Surviving Sunday: Packers News, Notes and Links for the Football Deprived
Surviving Sundays with no Packers football.
The following is a transcript of a hidden camera conversation from Packers GM Ted Thompson’s office on the opening day of NFL free agency.
(Knock on the door. The Packers front office team enters Thompson’s office. Thompson is watching “True Detective” on his office television)
Thompson: Why did nobody tell me about this “True Detective” show before? This is amazing. I didn’t know Woody from Cheers was such a good actor. And how about Matthew McConaughey?! The guy can actually act when he keeps his shirt on. Yellow King?! I want to change our nickname from the Packers to the Yellow Kings!
Scout: Um, sir….we didn’t tell you about the show because you only allow us to watch film of college players nobody else has ever heard of. And free agency is now officially open.
Thompson: Shhhh! This episode is more intense than the last few minutes of Super Bowl XLV.
Scout: But sir, we’ve already lost Lamarr Houston and Arthur Jones. They’re off the market.
Thompson: Really? They signed like 7 seconds after free agency officially opened? That’s some quick negotiating. Because no NFL team would ever cheat and use the three-day window to talk to agents to actually work out a contract, right?
Scout: Ummm…..
Thompson: How much did they go for?
Scout: Houston for $35 million to the Bears and Jones $30 million to the Colts.
Thompson: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That’s hilarious. No, seriously. How much did they sign for?
Scout: Sir, I was being serious.
Thompson: Dammit, you do this every year. You tell me who signed right after free agency opens and you make up some wild and silly number. Just tell me the real number.
Scout: But sir, that is the real number. I wasn’t kidding. Every year we have this same conversation 5 minutes after free agency opens.
Thompson: How about that other guy people want us to sign…what’s his name. Something to do with birds…
Scout: Jarius Byrd, sir. He signed with New Orleans for $54 million.
Thompson: I see. I can’t wait to see the headlines after the Super Bowl: “Jarius Byrd leads Saints to Super Bowl win.” Or maybe “Lamarr Houston makes people forget about the ’86 Bears.”
Scout: Sir, don’t you think we maybe should’ve gotten in on some of these signings? People are getting mad on Twitter.
Thompson: I haven’t been on my super secret Twitter account for a few days.
Scout: Couldn’t handle all the profanity directed your way about free agency?
Thompson: Nah. Didn’t want to see any “True Detective” spoilers. Do you really think Rust is the Yellow King?
Scout: Sir, right now a lot of people think you’re Matthew McConaughey in “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” not Matthew McConaughey in “True Detective.” Silly and annoying instead of brilliant and fascinating.
Thompson: Will they feel the same way after we win another division title this season?
Scout: If we flop in the playoffs again, yes.
Thompson: People need to keep their pants on. Free agency lasts longer than one day.
Scout: But people are getting restless.
Thompson: Good. That means that they care. They’re passionate. They’re fans. So what if they’re a little misguided? We’re not setting foreign policy or passing human rights legislation. Playing armchair GM and getting riled up about your favorite team is part of what makes our game fun for people.
Scout: So, what did you think of the Alexandra Daddario nude scene in “True Detective?”
Thompson: I watched it like 19 times! Wait…I mean…what are you talking about? I must’ve been watching film on that fullback from Middle Tennessee St. that I want to draft on a different television when this nude scene you speak of occurred…
(Editor’s Note: this post was written before the night before the Julius Peppers news broke.)
Packers news, notes and links
- B.J. Raji is back on a 1-year, $4 million deal. If you’re mad that Raji’s back, stop it. One-year deals are harmless. Find somewhere else to direct your anger.
- Losing center Evan Dietrich-Smith isn’t a bad area to direct whatever rage you feel about Raji. Dietrich-Smith isn’t an all-pro, but he’s a good player. And he signed a reasonable contract. Perhaps Dietrich-Smith decided he just wanted to play elsewhere, but 4 years, $14 million was a perfectly reasonable offer for Dietrich-Smith. Does Thompson turn the center job over to J.C. Tretter or find a veteran in free agency?
- The Packers also re-signed DL/OLB Mike Neal and TE Andrew Quarless this week. I seem to be in the minority, but Neal doesn’t do much for me. It’s a 2 year, $8 million deal, so I have no problem bringing him back on those team-friendly terms, but I don’t think he’s the answer, or a major part of the answer, to fixing the Packers pass rush. Yes, Neal played well toward the end of last season and he was also learning a new position. But he still popped up regularly on the injury report (even though he played through those various injuries) and wasn’t consistent enough, in my opinion. Quarless, another low-risk deal, merits another look at tight end.
- The Pro Football Draft preview publication presented by CheeseheadTV is on sale now. I highly recommend picking up a copy and having it by your side while you watch the NFL draft in May.
- The Green Bay Press Gazette asks: “Why isn’t Ted Thompson more like Ron Wolf?” Well, if you only look at results, the two GMs are very similar. From ALLGBP.com’s Kris Burke: Ted Thompson vs Ron Wolf after nine years: Ron Wolf: 92-52 record. … Ted Thompson: 86-57-1. … Both have one ring. … Ron Wolf: 9-5 in playoffs. … Ted Thompson: 6-5 in playoffs. … Ron Wolf: Three division titles. … Ted Thompson: Four division titles. … Ron Wolf had one non-losing season, Thompson had three (though 2005 was not necessarily his fault).
- I feel like I’ve been very defensive about Thompson on this site recently. It gets old hearing the constant clamoring every year whenever (insert name of free agent) signs elsewhere. But Thompson isn’t above criticism. If he doesn’t in bring a few guys from the outside to bolster the defense, I’ll take my shots at Thompson and they will be deserved.
- Here’s another kinda criticism of Thompson: I’m getting sick of hearing from Packers beat reporters that the “Packers had genuine interest in (insert name of free agent who just signed elsewhere).” It feels like the Packers are just feeding info about possible free agents to the beat guys to make it seem like they genuinely tried to sign (insert name of free agent who just signed elsewhere) when, in reality, they didn’t try all that hard. If you are genuinely interested in a free agent, and you think he can help the team, then get his butt into Green Bay and sign him. Enough with the “Ah shucks, we just missed him” nonsense.
- Late addition,,, Yes, the Packers signed someone…
Non-Packers links and other nonsense
- I feel bad for Mike Florio. What a sad, pathetic little man.
- I’m looking forward to Nate Silver’s new FiveThirtyEight website launch this week.
- Ron Washington paid a fine from MLB with 20,000 pennies.
15 Comments On “Surviving Sunday: Packers News, Notes and Links for the Football Deprived”
Comments are closed.
Adam, I gotta say thanks for your “Surviving Sunday” columns. In the offseason, they’re like a case of rum that washes ashore if you find yourself stranded on a deserted island – it won’t rescue you, but it makes the time more enjoyable.
Now, had this been in the olden days before the internet, imagine a poorly lit, smoke-filled copy room. As you’re packing your trusty Royal away ready to head to the local watering hole and news of the Peppers signing comes across the teletype, your grizzled editor Al opens his office door, spots you, and yells “REWRITE”!
Excellent Adam, love some humor on Sunday morning, almost as much as I love the signing of Julius Peppers. Peppers is one of those players that makes everybody around him better, even if he just turned 34. Still like to see the Packers take s look at Chris Clemons at Safety and maybe Samson Satele, at Center who just released by Indy.
I’m starting to like the idea of Hyde at safety.He is probably the best tackler in our backfield,has good cover skills for a safety,experienced in our D, and young. Center gets tricky, but I would like to draft a young center/guard .
I’m starting to think that as well. Hydes a football player, a good tackler, and with Hayward coming back I’d like to see Hyde on the field. Another guy I’ve been wondering about is Chris Harper. The WR they picked up on waivers last year. He was a 4th round pick of Seattle in last years draft and I wonder with a full offseason, OTA’s, and training camp if he emerges as another target for Rodgers. One thing about Rodgers, he makes everybody better around him.
Even I can’t find something to complain about. Seems lime the D line is set. We can clearly focus in other areas and the draft may help us there. No, no complaints. Just inner peace.
Inner peace feels pretty good….I try to hang out in it often. GoPack!
I think Wolf had only one and TT only three ‘Non-WINNING’ seasons (you typed non-losing).
But otherwise a very solid and enjoyable post today.
You left out that Wolf had TWO Super Bowl appearances and Thompson has ONE. I’m thrilled they brought back Raji on a one-year deal, but disappointed they let EDS go. I guess they’re “forcing themselves to get better.” Hope we don’t have another Jeff Saturday situation. Nice to see Thompson joining ALL the other top franchises by dipping into free agency.
I’m still thinking about Alexandra Dadderio
Mmmmmmmmm.
Is nothing sacred? Do you go to church and act like this? The thing that leaves me with a tear in my eye is you are serious about Teddy Thompson. Giving out grades yet on top of it? What qualifies you? Oh, you were high up with the Vikings, ya I should have figured. Working by chewing gum to patch the roof on the Metro-Sanitation toilet dome. What? Oh, Where were they? Youo didn’t see them for a long long time, come to play ball. You just keep on patching and they will come in a few months.
Is nothing sacred? Do you go to church and act like this? The thing that leaves me with a tear in my eye is you are serious about Teddy Thompson. Giving out grades yet on top of it? What qualifies you? Oh, you were high up with the Vikings, ya I should have figured. Working by chewing gum to patch the roof on the Metro-Sanitation toilet dome. What? Oh, Where were they? Youo didn’t see them for a long long time, come to play ball. You just keep on patching and they will come in a few months.
Is nothing sacred? Do you go to church and act like this? The thing that leaves me with a tear in my eye is you are serious about Teddy Thompson. Giving out grades yet on top of it? What qualifies you? Oh, you were high up with the Vikings, ya I should have figured. Working by chewing gum to patch the roof on the Metro-Sanitation toilet dome. What? Oh, Where were they? Youo didn’t see them for a long long time, come to play ball. You just keep on patching and they will come in a few months.
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