Packers Stock Report: Oh $#!%, Aaron Rodgers is Hurt Edition
OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod. Packers QB Aaron Rodgers is hurt.
Can Seneca Wallace keep the Packers alive until (if?) Rodgers returns?
Should the Packers call Favre?
Should the Packers call Flynn?
Where’s Graham Harrell when you need him?
What the hell happened to the defense on Monday?
Did the Rodgers injury somehow cause the Packers to forget how to tackle and pass protect?
What is a Shea McClellin and why did it do that to our quarterback?
The Bears still suck. Ok, that made me feel a little bit better.
Oh damn, I just remembered that Rodgers is hurt. OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod.
Now I’m starting to panic. How can I snap out of this?
Maybe writing the Packers stock report will help. Let’s see.
On to the stock report:
I totally forgot how awesome it is when your favorite football team has a running back that just trucks people over. Getting excited about long pass plays is awesome and everything, but there’s something about the feeling you get when a stud running back starts plowing over defenders and ripping off large chunks of yards. It makes you want to tear off your shirt and start posing like Hulk Hogan. Ok, maybe it’s just me who wants to do that every time Lacy runs someone over…
It’s been a solid run for Raji the last three games. He sniffed out a couple of screen passes against the Bears and has done an excellent job of making plays at the point of attack. Big, nimble and smart. That’s been Raji over this recent stretch of games.
Wait a minute. What’s he doing on this report?
Did Starks install a turbo button on his back when he was out? Seriously, I don’t remember him being nearly this fast. He’s firing through holes like he’s been shot out of a high-caliber rifle from a deer hunter perched high up in a tree in the woods of Mondovi, Wis.
Punts from Masthay kept pinning the Bears deep on Monday night. Too bad the Packers defense didn’t follow through and force a turnover or make a stand late in the game.
What the hell was that, Dom? I try to avoid putting coaches on the falling list because I find people who constantly yell about playcalling to be nauseating, but the defensive calls on Monday night were atrocious. Josh McCown is a backup quarterback. Blitz him, Dom. Rough him up. Put some heat on him. Don’t treat him like he’s the second-coming of Tom Brady.
It’s been a lost season so far for Hayward. He’s missed most of training camp and the first six games. He also missed a tackle late in the game on Monday that gave the Bears an opportunity to pick up the first down on fourth-and-1 and break the Packers hopes of pulling out a win.
I knew it would be bad. Did I think it would be that bad? Yeah. Yeah, I did think it would be that bad.