Packers Stock Report: Yawn…sleepy edition

If you struggle to fall asleep at night,or if you have small children who refuse to settle down long enough to take a nap,the 2016 Green Bay Packers might be able to help. Just watch some film of this year’s Packers team — especially its offense — and you and/or your kids should be sawing logs in no time. 

The Packers are boring now. I’ve spent almost as much time yawning as I have cheering during games.

For years,Packers fans have enjoyed the gunslinging exploits of Brett Favre and the big-play precision of Aaron Rodgers. On defense,stars like Reggie White,LeRoy Butler,Clay Matthews and Charles Woodson incited roars from the home crowd with big plays.

Those days seem to have disappeared. Today,Packers fans are forced to watch an offense that sputters along instead of gliding down the field. Timeouts are wasted,passes are dropped,balls are fumbled and the quarterback no longer bothers setting his feet before making a throw. At least when similar issues arose in the past,we had John Kuhn around so we could yell “Kuuuuuuuhhhhhhhn!” a couple times per game to entertain ourselves.

The defense has been solid for the most part,but it’s hard to get overly excited about containing the Jaguars,Vikings,Lions and Giants less-than-stellar offenses. And seeing Nick Perry make a play doesn’t have nearly the same magic as a Reggie White sack or Leroy Butler Lambeau Leap.

But the Packers are also 3-1. If boring gets the Packers back in the playoffs with a decent shot at another Super Bowl,I’m fine with boring. Just make sure someone wakes me up if I happen to fall asleep.

On to this week’s Packers Stock Report,which hopefully isn’t boring.

Rising

T.J. Lang
The strength of the Packers offense is the line,and Lang is probably the front five’s best player. The NBC cameras captured Lang wiping out his defender on several occasions Sunday night.

Nick Perry
A sack and six pressures…..just another day at the office for the 2016 version of Nick Perry.

Kyler Fackrell
In only 12 snaps,the rookie outside linebacker tallied a sack,a forced fumble,a QB hit and a hurry. On the season,Fackrell has nine tackles and two sacks in a very limited role. Am I being premature in listing Fackrell as a riser? Perhaps,but I didn’t expect much from him this season so what he’s accomplished so far is very impressive.

Steady

Micah Hyde
To me,Hyde is the definition of a steady player. Need him to play nickel corner,he can do that. Need him to step up and play outside,he can do that. Need a fill-in at safely,Hyde is your guy. How about a quick blitz from the slot? Hyde will deliver. Hyde might not be a game-changing player,but he makes sure the field doesn’t tilt in the wrong direction whenever he’s out there. 

David Bakktiari
Jason Pierre-Paul and Olivier Vernon are paid big bucks to rush quarterbacks from the edge. Neither could get to Rodgers on Sunday night,thanks in large part to the efforts of Bakhtiari.

LaDarius Gunter
He hasn’t made any flashy plays,but Gunter has been solid in a secondary that dealing with injuries. If Sam Shields is able to return to and Damarious Randall can return to form,the depth of this secondary will be a major strength heading into winter. 

Falling

Jacob Schum
Will Ted Thompson admit that he effed this one up and bring back Tim Masthay (or anybody)?

James Starks
A dropped screen pass that would have likely resulted in an easy touchdown,a near-disastrous fumble late in the fourth quarter,always bouncing runs outside…Starks was really bad against the Giants and so far looks nothing like the reliable backup he was last season.

National announcers who always praise Jared Abbrederis
It seems like every game the announcing crew takes 30 seconds to talk about how much the Packers,along with Aaron Rodgers,love Jared Abbrederis. Then Abbrederis never plays. Look,I like Abbrederis,too,but maybe it’s time to stop dedicating airtime to a player who hasn’t been a part of the Packers offense all season.