God Makes You Strong
I often feel the boys’ books speak to me, simple as they may be. Tonight, Reggie’s bedtime book was Good Night, God, written by Bonnie Rickner Jensen. The following page seemed so fitting for the last week and for the benefit our church family and friends had for us last night.
God Makes you Strong
I am your God. I will make you strong. Isaiah 41:10
No need to be worried,
No matter what comes,
No quivering or shivering,
No reason to run . . .
No thing in this world
Is out of God’s sight –
His strength will be yours
By the power of His might!
Good Night, God
Thank you for making me strong when I trust you.
(Good Night, God by Bonnie Rickner Jensen)
These words couldn’t have been any truer right now. As I sat down to write, I read though some old, painful CaringBridge entries Adam and I shared with you this last year. I am starting to read them more, as hard as they are to read and recall. It is necessary as part of my healing because much of 2016 is a blur.
Where did this strength come from for Adam and I? How did we survive his cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy and surgeries? How did I survive then and how am I doing it now?
God. God made us strong. He gave us HOPE. Our Pastor helped guide our spiritual journey and we pulled a lot of strength from those weekly visits. Reading through some of the entries we wrote, I could see when our faith was weak and when it was strong. Our strength was really tested after Adam’s surgery last summer.
My faith, my hope in life, and my strength is still being tested. I know God continues to walk this path with me, even though I often feel alone, I know deep down I am not. This is my battle now. A constant fight and struggle to be patient and trust in God.
Last night, our church family had a wonderful benefit for my sons and I. It took a lot of strength to show up as this was something we said “yes” to back in fall, together. It is a painful reminder Adam is really gone when I show up to the church we were married and where our boys were baptized.
As the event went on last night, it got a little easier and a little harder with every passing friend and family member I saw. It was overwhelming and humbling to see the community of people who gathered to support us. This is the strength God sends me. He sends me strength through Adam’s Pack.
Thank you to the organizers and to our church for all of the hard work and love that was put into this event. Friends, family, Adam’s co-workers, and the community around us proved last night there is still so much good in this world. I am humbled by everyone’s generosity and support given to our family. It will never be forgotten or taken for granted.
The sun was a little brighter today as Adam shined down on everyone in appreciation of the support given to our family. Thank you from myself, Edward, Reginald, and from my love in heaven. We are blessed.
Until next time, be kind to one another.