5 reasons why the Packers will beat the Seahawks (and 1 reason why they might not)

If not for the New England Patriots,the Seattle Seahawks would be the scummiest team in all of football. Whenever I see a Seahawks game,highlight or player interview on my TV screen,I feel like I immediately have to take a shower.

If there was such a thing as a scummy team checklist,the Seahawks would be able to mark off just about every box.

  • Cheating. Look no further than the Fail Mary game.
  • PEDs. The Seahawks lead the league in suspensions for performance enhancing substances.
  • Scandal. Coach Pete Caroll got out of USC just before the program was rocked by sanctions.
  • Phony. QB Russell Wilson is pre-programed by high-level marketing executives to give insincere answers to every question he’s asked in order to maintain his “brand.”
  • Delusion. Wilson also thinks a bottle of water produced by a company he endorses helped prevent him from sustaining a concusion in the NFC title game.
  • Smug. RB Marshawn Lynch thinks he’s too cool to speak with the media
  • Stupid. With the ball on the 1-yard line and a chance to win the Super Bowl in the closing seconds,the Seahawks throw a pass that got picked off instead of simply handing the ball to their smug star running back.
  • Last season’s NFC championship game. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

Football is less enjoyable because of the Seattle Seahawks. @#$% them.

Here are five reasons why the Packers will beat Seattle later tonight:

Because they eventually have to
Seriously,the Packers can’t keep getting beat around by these guys. Over the last couple of seasons,the Seahawks have cheated to beat the Packers,legitimately kicked the Packers’ ass and took advantage of the Packers having one of the worst meltdowns in the history of football. There are literally no more ways the Packers can lose to the Seahawks,so the Packers have to win one tonight.

No Bulaga,no problem
Hear me out on this one. Bryan Bulaga is a much better player than Don Barclay. The Packers would be in better shape if Bulaga played tonight instead of Barclay. However,Barclay has had a few days to practice with the first-team offensive line and Mike McCarthy and the coaching staff have had a couple days to adjust and prepare. Normally when the Packers offensive line breaks down,it’s because an injury occurs during a game. The backup comes in,looks lost,McCarthy doesn’t do anything to help the overmatched reserve and all hell breaks loose. Having advanced warning and some time to prepare for the tall task in front of him should help Barclay hold his own.

Lambeau Field
The Packers haven’t lost a home game with a healthy Aaron Rodgers since dropping the season-opener to San Francisco in 2012. Rodgers hasn’t thrown a pick in his last 418 pass attempts at Lambeau Field. 

Seattle’s secondary struggles
The once-feared Seahawks secondary was picked apart by the Rams (the Rams!) last week. If the Rams (the Rams!) can rack up big plays throgh the air against Seattle,imagine what Rodgers can do.

Kam Chancellor
One of the best defensive players in football is sitting at home on his recliner in the midst of a holdout instead of blowing up Packers running plays and protecting the deep middle of the field.



As we’ve seen far too often in this horror show that isPackers-Seahawks rivalry,the bad guy is more than capable of winning. Here’s how the villanous team with a weird chicken-like sea creature on its helmets could once again knock off the Packers:

Toughness
The Packers have to prove that they’re tough enough to beat the Seahawks. Seattle has had no problem pushing around the Packers,whether it’s Marshawn Lynch running over hapless tacklers,the presence of Richard Sherman causing the Packers to panic and ignore an entire side of the field,or Seattle vastly outperforming the Packers in clutch moments of the game.

If you want to finally defeat the bad guy,you have to be tough enough to do it. We’ll see if the Packers finally are tonight.

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